False Modesty?

So Tessie and I were looking at photos together when we came across a few of her.

Tessie: Aww, cute!
Me: Don't say that about pictures of yourself, it's immodest.
Tessie: What does 'immodest' mean?
Me: To be immodest is to be too proud of yourself. It's like showing off.
Tessie: But I am proud of myself.
Me: You should be, but don't be too proud of yourself.
Tessie: I'm proud of myself but not too proud of myself. I'm perfect!

That backfired...

Theology by Tessie

It started with Tessie and me in the car talking about the weather...

Me: We're going to Legoland Friday. Hopefully the weather will be nice. [as compared to the deluge of almost Biblical proportions that was in progress]

T: Why hopefully?

Me: Well, all we can do is hope. We can't control the weather.

T: Why not?

Me: We just can't.

(pause)

T: God controls the weather.

(pause)

Me: Really, now? Tell me about God. Where does God live?

T: God lives in the sky, near the sun. God has a house near the sun made of dried raindrops. She has a spaceship attached to the house. God is a girl.

(further pause while I absorb this)

T: God made life. The first Mommy and Daddy. God created them.

--

As anyone who knows Tessie's Parents can guess, she's not learning this at home. And, I doubt she's learning it at the school that just hosted "Holiday Shows" rather than Christmas concerts. Fascinating.

Not what I expected to hear from the back seat

In the car on the way home from work today:

Tessie (iPhone in hand): Mommy, I don't like the maze game. It's too tricky so I got rid of it.

Me: Got rid of it? You mean you deleted it?

T: Yes. I deleted it.

Me: Um... how did you know how to delete it?

T: I just clicked on the "x."

Me: Tessie! Do NOT delete apps from Mommy's iPhone without asking.

T: Sorry, Mommy.

Me: That's ok, that was a free one anyway. But next time, ask before deleting anything.

T: Ok, Mommy.

[some moments later]

T: I really like moving things around. It makes a new dot each time I move something onto another screen.

Me: Please do not move my applications!

T: Ok.

[a little later]

T: I moved the calendar, is that ok?

Me: No!

T: Sorry, Mommy.

(I also had to learn the hard way to disable in-application purchases after Tessie spent $7 buying extra coins in TapZoo. Sigh. This kid knows my phone better than I do.)

Legoland! Day Two!

We did the math: it actually works out economically to purchase park memberships, so long as we plan on coming back again at least one more time within the next twelve months.

We do not anticipate any argument from Tessie about return visits.

Having thoroughly covered the park on the previous day, we went back to some of our favorite rides early. First up: the Miniland boat cruise. Dinosaurs, construction workers, African wildlife, Mount Rushmore, the New York skyline... you can see a lot from the boat.

Not only is there a Lego reconstruction of the Statue of Liberty in front of the reconstructed Manhattan skyline, there is also a Lego reconstruction of the reconstruction of the Statue of Liberty in front of the reconstructed Manhattan skyline in front of the New York New York Hotel in the reconstruction of Las Vegas.

Confused yet? There's also this model of Los Angeles' Griffith Observatory within view of San Francisco's TransAmerica Pyramid. They take a bit of license with the geography, but the models are excellent and, fortunately, there is adequate signage identifying the various landmarks.

Of course, some of the constructions are pure fantasy,

while others represent full-scale objects in remarkable detail.

This "Volvo" was parked outside the Volvo Driving School, which Tessie had visited on the previous day. We went back because she wanted another try at it. She ran into the same difficulties -- and walls -- as she had before, but still thought it was great fun.

Busy with the rides on the first day, we didn't take in any of the shows available in the park until our second day. First up was a singing, dancing, slapstick review about firefighters that Tessie enjoyed.

Tessie met Bob the Builder, the star of the next show, outside the theatre. He must be a very busy guy, with both his construction job and his position as Minister of Propaganda in the Obama cabinet*, but he still found the time to put together a 3D movie about building a roller coaster. Tessie sat through it, but found some of the 3D effects to be a little too much to take.

[*In case you don't get the joke, they use the same catch phrase: "Yes we can!"]

Right after the show, we discovered the "Build and Test" pavilion, and there went the rest of the afternoon. In "Build and Test," visitors get to assemble race cars from great buckets of Lego bricks and assorted components, then set them atop a ramp with a starting gate and race them against other cars.

 

After racing, Tessie decide to make some modifications. Some of those bricks were hard to reach:

Some were really hard to reach:

But Tessie was able to hang with the bigger kids, and put together a successful, if top-heavy, racer.

Before the park closed, we managed to extract Tessie from "Build and Test" in time to get her back on the Miniland cruise, the same ride on which we had begun our day. Not too long after closing time, they dimmed the lights and we got the signal to head for the exit after another full day.

But not before Tessie ran off to explore just a little more of Miniland...

x

Legoland!

Now that Tessie has turned four -- and, more importantly, has surpassed 40 inches in height -- we decided to make good on our earlier resolution to return to Legoland California.

Her height is important, because at 40 inches she has now met the minimum height requirement for all but two of the park's rides. (When she hits 48 inches, or 4'-0", she'll have the run of the park. Judging by her progress so far, that should be some time next week.)

Even for those who don't meet the rides' height requirements, Legoland is full of attractions and entertainment. The park's centerpiece is Miniland, a recreation in Lego of famous sites and cityscapes from around the world.

Many of the displays are animated, like this Presidential motorcade coming down Pennsylvania Avenue.

Some are large-scale static displays of Lego craftsmanship; these are intended, I suspect, as much to demonstrate the artists' proficiency as to stimulate enormous purchases in the park's gift shop. (Where, alas, there is no "outlet pricing.")

Tessie loves Lego, as all kids do, but her real passion is the rides. Whether flying the "Cargo Ace" planes,

or sliding along on a magic carpet, Tessie loves the wind in her hair and the sensation of speed.

The park also offers a water play area, which is just the thing on a hot day.

The scale of the park, in terms of both its overall area and the individual rides it offers, seems to be a good fit for kids of Tessie's age up to about ten. The rides are all reasonably tame and designed to let the children control them.

There's no manufacturing on site, but there is a brief "factory tour" where it is possible to see Lego bricks being molded and packaged. Along the way, one can glean all sorts of statistics about Lego production, most of which can be reduced down to their essence: Lego is universal, ubiquitous and staggeringly popular.

The tour empties out into a small shop where Lego bricks can be purchased singly or in bulk, but at $7.99/4 oz., that can get pretty pricey. Still, if you need a lot of Lego minifigure heads...

One highlight of our day was Tessie's enrollment in the Volvo Driving School. (Volvo sponsors the attraction. Volvo is Swedish, while Lego is Danish. I guess it's a Scandinavian solidarity thing.)  Kids from three to five get to drive Lego cars around an oval track; when they finish, they get Drivers' Licenses. (There's a larger, more complex track for bigger kids.) Tessie may have had a bit of trouble negotiating the track, but the smile on her face let us know she didn't mind.

After a bit of playing in the Funtown section of the park,

(where Tessie surprised us by showing us she could slide down a fire pole by herself)

we decided to visit the new Sea Life Aquarium adjacent to the park. It's a small aquarium, but Tessie enjoyed it.

(On entering the park that morning, we submitted to a questionnaire about the aquarium; as a reward, Tessie got a stuffed lionfish. Here, she's introducing it to some real lionfish.)

Eventually, we were able to persuade her to leave. We had surprised her that morning by not telling her where we were going; we would surprise her the next day by going back!